The Italian Stallion | Everyone Needs A Shed (2024)

Yesterday I snubbed an evening trip to Hemel Hempstead (and all that implies) to attend another session at the excellent London On Board (Google is your friend). Pausing to purchase the components of a ridiculously large blue-cheese baguette from an ‘M&S Food’ franchise on Cheapside (take a peek on your The Great Fire of London 1666 board), I descended the abyssal steps into the Red Herring pubs’ basem*nt at 5.30PM to gaze upon a vista of already-buzzing gaming tables: Cowboys here, an Elder Sign or two there, Automobile, King of Tokyo, Chaos in the Old World and, in the murky corner – blinking at the lights, guttural, subsisting on poker chips and real ale – the first stirrings of an 18XX.

Game Idea: Club 1830XX – players operate night clubs on Ibiza and use DJs to earn money. DJs are made obsolete during the game, players buy interests in each-others clubs and, at the end, the player with the fewest stabbings and least-serious STD wins.

New players dribble occasionally into the venue, sheltering in the womb of the +1 RSVP status, wide-eyed at the groaning table of pleasures that await.

Your first time, you say? How about Age of Steam followed by a quick After The Flood? (cue: green light and evil cackling through an echo pedal)

I was clutching my prototype but, as often seems the case, this just makes me even more unapproachable and (in the end) I conceded to wicked fate and stowed it back into my smelling-of-Danish-Blue plastic bag.

Wondering if I’d actually get to play

Game Idea: Chaos In The New World – an Ameritrash platter accompanied by Dvorak’s aural gem; players compete to build (Wasabi-style) bars of symphonic delight by spending ‘notes’ (the game’s currency), attacking other players’ clefs and laying out completed bars (basically, a set-collection mechanic). Four factions (Woodwind, Strings, Percussion and Brass) vie for ultimate power in the form of the ‘Conductors Baton’.

Anyway, Mikele spotted a battered Agricola box beneath the fecund supply table and professed his undying love for the same…I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to play this with two new opponents who don’t actually need any kind of rules explanation! My hand offered early vegetables, bonus grain and a Schnapps Distiller plus Constable (from which 5 points were drawn) for the 4-wood accelerator, so I drained my food to zero in the first Stage and snifter-ed my way through the first harvest with one food to spare. I was a little concerned that almost all of M&G’s ‘start player’ actions went unaccompanied with a Minor Improvement and it turns out they play a lot of 2 or 5 player games, with nothing in between! As any fule kno, the three player is quite the nastiest and hardest variant – so I felt at a distinct advantage. Pressing this home, I was at four family members by round 9 with almost 10+ food in my supply, a well and an oven, pairs of animals, all poised for baby 3 and some voluminous plowing and sowing. In the end, it was a comfortable victory that was most unimpeded – its gratifying when your plans don’t really overlap with the other players’: 51-42-36

Game Idea: Agricola – The D (Diseases) Deck. Building on the infirmary mechanic introduced in Farmers of the Moor, the D deck adds 24 new cards sharing a distinctly malaise-ridden feel. Occupations include: Proctologist, Back-Street Dentist, Drunk Medical Student, Illicit Organ Dealer and Off-Duty Pharmacist; improvements include: Hernia Truss, Contaminated Blood Supply, The Plague, Sick Note, Warm Chicken Soup and Village STD Clinic (return the Private STD Clinic to gain extra VPs and more anti-biotics from general supply) etc

I made a date to meet up with these jolly Neopolitans at Spiel’11 – they want to learn how to play Glory to Rome (!) FFS – looks like I pleased the Good Lord today and no mistake.